Tag Yourself: I'm Eye Bags From Exhaustion, a Constant Racing Heart, and Painful Anxiety

I Can't Fall Asleep Because: 

• I'm seeing a concert tonight 
• I've been obsessing over it for weeks
• I'm dying to know what will be on the setlist... which I have also tracked obsessively.
• Do I know as many lyrics as I want to? I love to sing along at shows and honestly, I feel like a shitty fan when I claim to love a band and don't know all the lyrics BUT there are bands I have listened to for YEARS and not memorized full albums of.  Jesus, Sarah.  You aren't going to lose any street cred (you never had any to begin with) 
• I can't decide what to wear
• Should I wear lipstick?
• If I wear a dress with tights will I look overdressed?
• What if it's too warm? Will I then look dumb?
• I have to keep in mind that the venue is near the water so I can't wear anything too short because of the wind.
• I am seeing a boy there
• I want to look relaxed - so do I not wear a dress and tights with lippy? I know this doesn't matter but my brain doesn't care right now 
• Does he like me?
• It's going to be hilarious for him to see me in my happy place with all my stupid dancing and yelling 
• Maybe he will hate it (and fuck him if he does - my brain is on board for that at least)
• What if the night ends and nothing happens between us?
• BUT what if something does?  What if all I can think about is him sliding between my legs? 
• But what if he isn't thinking about that at all (which is VALID - I would just be sad)
• What if I never really know what he wants from us? (okay, I could ask but it will be out third time hanging out and we've already fucked - does that mean more? No? Word.)
• What if I just want him to hear certain lines from the songs and realize they make him think of me?  (to be fair - I would think this of any dude I'm interested in because it's sweet)
• YO I just realized I have never been to a concert with a dude I'm interested in before.  Wait.  Once when I was like 16 and then gigs with my ex but we were established.  Okay, maybe there's a few more - shit, there are.  OKAY first time in like 10 years going to a show with a dude I'm interested in.  Glad we got that sorted out and typed out our whole thinking process on it.  
• Shit sucks. 
• I am still unemployed 
• I have no routine which is FUCKING me UP so HARD
• I'm not sure my new meds are working and I can't talk to my psych about it
• Or MAYBE they aren't working because I'm taking them at different times each day or not at all if it's past 2 PM?
• My brain.  I finally feel my eyes getting heavier, but will my brain shut off enough for me to fall asleep? 
• I'm honestly scared to try.  The idea of laying in bed even longer with sleep not coming to me sounds horrible.  And what will I do?  Play on my phone even longer?  I have been so attached to it - like it's there to fill some void in the shitstorm that my life feels like right now. 
• Fuck, I forgot to email the woman who interviewed me yesterday - DO THIS IN THE MORNING, SARAH
• I have also neglected emailing HR from my old job about my benefits.  Maybe do this next week?  You should... but you don't want to hear if someone can't help you.